I'm feeling better today. I'm actually feeling extremely grateful. I've done a lot of crying, a lot of explaining to people that "no I am not having a baby", a lot of people have told me their experiences with the same thing, I've gone to the doctor, and I've cuddled up to, cried to, and talked to my amazing husband, and I've prayed A LOT. I've realized that yes trials are no fun but I have such amazing support and so much love surrounding me that I think I could make it through anything. ( Not that I want anymore right now...please ) But I've also realized how small my trial is compared to others. I'm grateful for the trials I do have and I'm grateful for the fact that I can overcome them. I am sad but I'm just hoping the next time around we'll make it full term. :)
I have SO much to be grateful for so I thought I'd share ( mostly for myself )
- The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints - I honestly believe this Church is true. Completely. I don't think I could handle my trials or tribulations without knowing and having a testimony of Christ, the Atonement, that Families are Forever...I know that things happen for a reason and that there is a great plan for me and for my family. Just knowing this gospel fills my heart with so much peace, hope, and love.
- Spencer. I couldn't have asked for a better husband. He's been my rock. My best friend. He knows how to say the right things and knows how to make me feel better and feel loved. I love him with all my heart. And I couldn't be more thankful that he's mine and no matter what we're in this together... forever. Not to mention he's the best daddy...look at this pic i took last night of them chillin and watching tv...how could I not be grateful?
- My little Preston. I am a mommy and I can't thank my Heavenly Father enough for sending me this little boy. Spencer calls him our "Golden Boy" haha he's our everything right now and we couldn't be happier with him. He's so smart and always brings smiles to our faces. How can I not be grateful to wake up to his sweet face in the morning? ( And his sometimes crazy faces...like this one haha )
- My family and friends. At first I wished that I hadn't told anyone, I didn't want to go back and say...jk i guess I'm not having a baby anymore! But I have gotten so much love and support that I actually think it helped. I've gotten it out of my system and I'm not trying to hold it in. I think if I had to do it over, I'd do it the same way.
I really have more I'm thankful for but the Church and the people that surround me are the most important and I couldn't be more thankful. I love being a mommy and I pray I'll be able to be a mommy again...and again. Cause even when they try to escape and not want to take pictures with their mommy...its the best, most rewarding job in the world. I wouldn't trade it for anything.